When your mind gets stuck when u think about love

When your mind gets stuck when u think about love series#

But what happened yesterday is as much in the past as what happened a thousand or more years ago. When we churn over past events, we often search for how we might have done things differently to prevent a crazy altercation or regrettable outcome. A Tara Brach teaching that speaks for itself.

DonвЂ™t ever put anyone out of your heart, not even you.

When weвЂ™re able to be present with our feelings and inquire why weвЂ™re experiencing such a strong reaction and what our feelings tell us about ourselves, thatвЂ™s a learning opportunity.

How can you grow from this? Teacher and psychologist Tara Brach suggests that when we are locked in anger, taking offense over something said or done, making judgments, or fuming over how we were treated, we add to our own reservoir of suffering.

How could we feel so bad if our feelings werenвЂ™t true? Tibetan Buddhist Tsokyni Rinpoche teaches that when weвЂ™re emotionally hijacked by worry, regret, fear, anxiety, or anger, we must remember that the emotional and physical state we experience is вЂњreal but not true.вЂќ We often take this as a sign that our thoughts must be fact.

We experience our emotions- anxiety, tension, fear, and stress-keenly in our bodies. So why try to figure out what others are thinking? Chances are extremely good that you would be wrong, which means all that ruminating was a colossal waste of time. Ask yourself: If others tried to figure out what youвЂ™re thinking, or what your motivations are, how right do you think theyвЂ™d be? They probably wouldnвЂ™t have a clue as to whatвЂ™s really going through your mind. If you want to think clearly, 'you canвЂ™t be mad at anything.вЂќ You canвЂ™t think clearly or be creative or thoughtful about how best to handle any situation when youвЂ™re mad. This Sylvia Boorstein teaching follows along the same lines. When you're angry, it wrinkles the mind.Deal with yourself-meditate, exercise, take a long walk, say less and give it more time, or whatever it takes-before you deal with anyone else. In that sense, our anger really is our biggest problem. Our anger creates a cloud of emotion that keeps us from responding in a cogent, productive way. Buddhist meditation teacher Norman Fischer suggests that no matter whatвЂ™s happened, the biggest problem we face is our own anger. A Sylvia Boorstein nugget that pretty much says it all. Try not to fall into other peopleвЂ™s states of mind.Sylvia Boorstein has a saying that helps to remind us of this truth: вЂњFirst this happened, then that happened, then that happened. No one person is entirely to blame for the end result.

When your mind gets stuck when u think about love series#

Bad things and misunderstandings most often вЂњhappenвЂќ through a series of events, like a domino effect. Picking apart past events and trying to assign blame (including blaming yourself) is rarely productive. Buddhist psychologist Sylvia Boorstein suggests that instead we simply give ourselves permission to wait and see what happens next. We sometimes feel the need to respond and react to difficult people or situations right away, which is why we stew over what to say or do next.

With time, the thing weвЂ™re annoyed about often just falls away. It allows us to simmer down, let things go, and take the high road. Saying less and letting more time pass when weвЂ™re dealing with a difficult, reactive person is almost always a smart move.